Out of my comfort zone

Hello, readers! I had a great weekend with my church's college and career class at some caverns several hours away from home. Here's a picture of us before we went into the caves:

Yes, it was a fun time, but now I'm back to the grind! I have work, go running, pick a director's daughter up from school, mail my second package to Japan and continue planning my parent's 25th wedding anniversary party. Needless to say, I'm super busy!

Going back to the list of things I need to do today, running is second. Recently I have decided to "practice what I preach" and do something for myself (Like I stated earlier this month in my "Waiting for Him" post). No, I'm not very good at running, but it's making me feel better about myself. It's helping me feel productive and like I'm accomplishing something.

So, I challenge you all: do something that's out of your comfort zone that will help you feel better about yourself. For me, it's running. But for some of you it could be as simple as wearing a dress to work or school because you're not a "girly girl". The better you feel about yourself, the more confident you will come across to the world. Just like Candace Cameron said on Dancing with the Stars last week, "Confidence is sexy". Confidence is sexy and just because your man is gone doesn't mean you need to stop feeling sexy.

Good luck this week!

How he feels

Since my last post was focusing on my side of "see ya later"s I thought it would be nice to hear how Ryan felt about saying our farewells when he left for Japan. It's interesting to see how our Marines handle leaving us because I've never heard his true feelings about it before. I also thought that there are some girls who doubt whether your man misses you or not (let's face it--men are super unemotional.), but this shows that he does. I'm sure all of your men are thinking just what Ryan was when he had to say "see ya later" to me.

"Saying goodbye to Kat has always been hard but leaving for [Japan] was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Thinking back now, all I remember is that despite how I knew she would always be there for me, I felt like my heart was being ripped out. Often times, that horrible memory of walking through line and onto the airplane ramp comes back to me. I try to block it out but I can't ever fully escape that pain. I can still recall how it felt to let her go from that tight hug, see her cry as I walked away and when I tried to look back and couldn't see her anymore. It felt like my life was over. I texted her as much as I could before the flight attendant called for all cell phones off but it wasn't enough. No words could really help me deal with that sense of loss. All I could do was push on and hope for that one day when it would all be over. The day I could finally hold her again and relax knowing everything was going to be alright. I'm still waiting for that day. Now all I can ever think about is when I'll be able to Skype with her next and when I'll be able to go home next. I can't wait. Being stuck [here] is killing me. I miss her so much. I know that when I get home she will be waiting for me. That next hug will be way [better] than the last one. Everything will be alright."

It's eye opening to see that he feels emotions just as strongly as I do. We will make it through

Saying "See ya Later"

Throughout Ryan's time in the Marine Corps I've had to say "see ya later" to him more than I ever thought I would. Yes I knew that he would be away a lot, but saying goodbye to the love of your life constantly isn't really something that you can prepare for. Being a Marine Girlfriend requires a lot of on the job training. So, today I was going to share some instances when I had to say "see ya later" to Ryan.

The first time that we parted ways we had only been dating for 3 months and he was heading off to begin his journey with the Marine Corps by going to boot camp. He swore in the day after Mother's Day, but I couldn't attend the ceremony because I was starting my first day at work. I wanted to be there more than anything, but it just didn't work out that way. I said my "see ya later"s to him on Mother's day since I couldn't make it to his swearing in. When I said my last goodbye I thought nothing could ever compare to the pain I felt that day. I couldn't see in the future though--and there was even more heartache awaiting me there.

Our first reunion was at family day when we were in San Diego to celebrate his boot camp graduation. I caught my first glimpse of him during the Moto Run and I picked him out right away. I could feel my heart fluttering while my eyes began to well up with tears. After that moment, nothing else mattered that day. We had Family Briefings that meant nothing to me. The only thing I could think about was that first hug from Ryan. When I finally got my hug I never wanted it to end. Just like after he came home I never wanted him to leave. But he did leave--10 days later. So I said goodbye to him once again.

This time I actually had the blessing of taking him to the airport since his flight was leaving so early in the morning and the airport is very close to where I work. The only upside this time was that Ryan would take his phone with him. I heard from him a lot less than I was promised, but I made it through.

My next "hello" was 4 months later over Christmas and it was just as wonderful as when he came home last time. I literally fall in love with him all over again every time I see him. That's the great thing about this lifestyle! Even though I say "see ya later" frequently, I get to say "hello" and really appreciate Ryan's presence.

I will only talk about one more "see ya later" because this is the biggest one I've said to date. As many of you know, Ryan came home for 13 days when he got orders to go to Japan and that was great! But saying goodbye is always hard. I took him to the airport and got a special pass to get in the terminal with him (as long as your Marine has his orders and you have your ID, you can go through security to get in the terminal for when he leaves). We were planning on getting breakfast, but I felt so sick to my stomach just thinking of him leaving. So, we just sat by his gate and didn't say too much until they started boarding his plane. One last hug and kiss (since people aren't allowed in the terminal anymore unless they have a flight, it looks so strange to people when they see a couple saying goodbye and crying...) and he boarded the plane. That was it.

I'm sure there are many "see ya later"s in my future with Ryan, but saying goodbye for him to go to Japan has been the hardest to date. Since that goodbye was so hard I know that our next "hello" will be even more wonderful than all the others. I still don't know when I will see him again, but that is part of dating a Marine. I love him more than anything and it's worth it.

I'm sorry that I got so personal today! There are just some days I need to remember why I do, what I do. Remembering the hard times I've had with Ryan and how we overcame them (and continue to over come them) makes me even more proud to call him mine!

The Uniform

I have a really bad case of the Mondays today, so I apologize in advance. But, today I'm going to discuss something that has been on my mind a lot lately: The Uniform. 

When we date or marry someone in the Military that comes with several responsibilities. We chose him not his occupation, but in order to be with him you must accept several challenges that the Military will, inevitably throw your way. To compensate for this new lifestyle, a lot of girls go "moto". The Urban Dictionary definition of moto is shown below:

Being moto isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you can't forget who he was before the Marine Corps. For most of us, we fell in love with our guy before he joined the Military and it's been an adjustment. The days when he can't talk, writing letters instead of texting, sleepless nights because you haven't heard from him for a week, 3 weeks, a month, several months--we have all been there. Sometimes we forget that we didn't get this strong overnight, just like the Military doesn't make Marines, Sailors, Airmen or Soldiers overnight. They go through training to get where they are now, but that training shouldn't make you look at your boyfriend or husband differently. Yes, he is in the Military and that is something that should make you proud! Just don't forget those years or months that you spent with him before he earned his title. He looks at you as so much more than a "Marine girlfriend", "Army Wife", "Air force Wife", etc. So, why do we women only call our men "My Marine", "My Coastie", etc.? Calling them that is just fine, but don't make that the only way you identify your boyfriend/husband. He is so much more than that. Always remember:

  

Like I said before, there isn't anything wrong with calling him by his title. Just don't forget where he came from.

A great online shop that you'll love!

I'm sure that we have all had that experience when you order something online and you:
a.) Don't ever receive said item.
b.) The item isn't worth what you paid
or
c.) You contact the maker of the product and you never hear from him/her.

I know that's happened to me on more than one occasion. It's very frustrating spending your money for a custom order and the person making it doesn't seem to care about any form of customer service.

If you want to have a great customer service experience, then you need to shop at Civvies and Skivvies's Online Store. You can make just about anything custom--not to mention, the owner and creator of the company is just a doll! I emailed her about making me a custom shirt (I won't say for what because Ryan is one of my readers!) and she got back to me in less than 12 hours later. Not only was her promptness highly impressive, but the owner also seemed genuinely interested in why I was purchasing this item. She encouraged me not to be worried if I couldn't order right away due to my crazy circumstances; that doesn't happen a lot when people own their own business.

The owner of this company seems to be caring, sweet, honest and have a very high moral and business standard. I will continue to shop at this site and I will recommend it to any MilSO or MoM that needs a custom shirt for any occasion!

Songs that get me through

Recently I have felt at a loss for words. When this happens, I will listen to music (or binge on TV shows. I just finished Pokemon and now I'm on to all the seasons of Survivor before my free week of HuluPlus is up!) So, today I thought I would show you all a few songs I have listened to multiple times: Love Song by 311 and Where'd You Go by Fort Minor.

Warning about Where'd You go if you haven't heard it before: It's very sad and it will make you cry if you're not prepared for it. There are some real people speaking about real life experiences and one of them is a military family. If you want to skip over that, the song begins at 1:04 and ends at 4:26.

Love Song, 311
(Above is the link to the video if the embedded video doesn't work on your phone)

Where'd You Go, Fort Minor

(Above is the link to the video if the embedded video doesn't work on your phone)

I'm sorry for such the short post today, but Japan has felt even further than normal. I just need to keep singing: "However far away...However long I stay...whatever words I say, I will always love you" 

Thank you all for reading and watching. Those of you that put up with my nonsensical writings day in and day out, your loyalties make me feel special.   

What is Pain?

Those that know me well know that I'm obsessed with several things. I won't bore you with everything, but for the sake of my post today I will be talking about one of my obsessions: The Princess Bride. As a child I would watch the movie over and over again. I could quote every line and hum all the music. For me "obsession" was an understatement. But there is one quote that always stuck out to me (and not just because my Dad would constantly quote it):

As someone dating or married to a Marine, there is a lot of pain. Every time you say "see ya later" gets harder. If I wasn't upfront with every girl that I talk to about that, I would be selling something, just like Westley states in his quote above. 

Just to explain The Princess Bride a little more for those who have never seen it: Westley and Buttercup fall madly in love. Because Westley is poor and has no money he decides to sail to America and build a life for them.  

All of that mini recap to say: There is a little bit of Buttercup in all of us who are dating a man in the Military. We wait, we cry, we wish he were there to pick us up when we are down. But because of his absence, we find our own inner strength and independence. All of us live our daily lives without the man of our dreams, but we become stronger through the whole process. 

Yes, life is pain, but...

Because of our pain, we become stronger. The fictional character, Buttercup can attest to that. But the non fictional character, Katie can also back up that statement. You may feel alone, but you aren't--you may feel like no one has felt pain like you have, but you're wrong. There are so many other women who have been through what you have and came out stronger because of it. 

"Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. So thank the past for a better future."