After about a 5 month hiatus, I've decided to start blogging again! *Insert clapping and cheering here* I had stopped blogging because of things that were going on in my personal life and I'm happy to say that I'm back again to stay!
During my time away I have learned a lot about myself, my relationship and I've become even more independent than I was before I started blogging. I've returned to school and I'm about half way through my first semester as a Biblical Counseling major. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be, but I'm glad that I decided to go back to school for myself.
To get myself back in the saddle again, I've decided to write a post about fighting in a long distance relationship (these things can be applied to every relationship as well). I don't know about any of my readers out there, but I am fluent in the art of fighting with my man (as he is with me also). We know what buttons to push to make sure we get a rile out of the other one, but that isn't very healthy for the relationship. So, during my little break from blogging, I've come up with tips on how to make your fights with your man productive as opposed to hurtful.
1. There should always a reason for the fights
Sometimes it may just seem like yelling or hurtful words, but you have to remember there is always a reason a fight begins. Whether it's because he had a bad day at work, he doesn't feel like he has anything to do, or maybe it's because of lack of food and/or sleep (this last one is very common with Ryan). As his girl, we need to remember to be sensitive to these emotions he is having. The reason he lashes out at you is because you're closest to him and he thinks that you won't be going anywhere.
However, if either of you are just fighting for the sake of fighting, then stop. If you have to stop talking because of it, so be it. Don't waste the little time you have to talk to him being in a bad mood. That will put a dark cloud over your relationship that's hard to overcome later.
2. Don't shout, communicate
During fights, both parties seem to think that their opinion and their words are the most important. Because of this, there tends to be a lot of shouting over each other and not very much communication. When he is talking, let him get his thought out before you start speaking. This isn't hard to accomplish if you're actually listening to what he is saying rather than thinking of what you're going to say in response.
3. Don't linger on the past
As women, we have the memory of an elephant. We can remember the stupid thing he did on July 21, 2009 and remember exactly why he was so stupid. If it's in the past, leave it there! When you're long distance the last thing either of you needs is to start fighting about something that happened several months, or years ago.
4. Make an effort
If your relationship is like mine, you're stubborn and so is your guy. At times, both of us swallow our pride and admit defeat. There is no way that you are right 100% of the time, so you need to talk it out with your man and try to find a middle ground. It's very difficult when you think you're the right one, but would you rather waste your time on fighting constantly, or enjoy the little time you have with him?
I have an issue with all 4 things on this list and they are things I'm working on to make myself a better person. I'm probably not the only person who has an issue when it comes to these things, so I thought I would put them out there in the open. None of us are perfect and we can all improve upon ourselves. Hopefully this article is eye-opening for those of you who have similar problems like me and aren't sure how to fix them.
Until next time, chickas!
