10 steps to happiness while he is away

There have been several times when I just thought to myself, I can't do this "Marine girlfriend" thing anymore. That's when I go through my 10 step program for Marine S/Os (they don't have to be done in order):

1. Let out a good cry
We all know that being with a Marine (or Marine Recruit) is emotionally draining, but being strong isn't your only option. I prefer to save my meltdowns for when I'm alone, but talking with a close friend about how you're feeling or what you're going through is also a great option.
"The word 'happiness' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness" -- Carl Jung
You're only allowed 15-30 minutes to cry. We don't want you to be depressed forever and we want to be sure we have that balance that Jung was talking about.

2. Chin up, Buttercup!
Now that you've had a nice 30 minute cry in private, it's time for you to take on the world!
"A sad soul can kill quicker than a germ." -- John Steinbeck
The only way that you can find that true happiness is by showing the world who is boss.

3. Be a Duck
Growing up my father would always say, "Be a duck, let it slide". Which basically means, don't let what other people say have power over you. Just be a duck and let it slide off you like water. At the end of the day, people in "normal" relationships won't be able to understand what it's like to be with a man in the Military, and we shouldn't expect them to. Just listen to them and move on because you wouldn't want to lose a friendship over it.
"Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful or malicious." -- Phillip Brooks

4.Make friends who "get it"
There are several community support groups and Facebook support groups that you could get involved in to make MilSO (Military Significant Other) friends. It's nice to be around girls who really understand what you are going through. Don't get me wrong, I love all my friends who aren't in a Military relationship and they are all supportive of me (actually, my best friend is more understanding than most of my MilSO friends.) and they just want me to succeed. But there are times when you just want to vent about the Military lifestyle to someone who will truly understand what you're talking about. For me, that person has been my cousin, Beth. She is married to an Officer in the USAF and we vent about our lives together. With a MilSO friend, you can use acronyms, talk about different trainings, duty stations and so many other things.

5. Be proactive
The society we live in is very selfish, so try to take the focus off of you and your sadness. There is always someone who has it worse than you do. I promise you that it will make you feel better to take the spotlight off yourself and help someone who is also having a rough time in life.
"Be of service. Whether you make yourself available to a friend or co-worker, or you make time every month to do volunteer work, there is nothing that harvests more of a feeling of empowerment than being of service to someone in need" -- Gillian Anderson

6. Show him you care
Whether he is at Boot Camp, MCT, MOS School, his PDS or a deployment--there are still several ways to show him you care and that you are thinking about him. This is the time for you to channel your inner Martha Stewart and get creative! If you're not creative that's okay too. Even a simple card to say that you're thinking about him will totally make his day or even week. Not to mention, Pinterest will become your best friend during this time! It's that little extra effort that we have to put forth for our men that sets us apart.
I also recommend buying The 5 Love Languages Military Edition. If you don't know his love language, figure it out so you can better communicate your love to him. So, bridge the gap and do something thoughtful and spontaneous for your Marine!
"In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged." -- Hans Nouwens

7. Spend time with his Family
Since the dawn of time there has been an issue that still continues to cloud families everywhere: Mother-in-Law VS Daughter-in-Law. Why do Mothers and Girlfriends/Wives feel the need to have smack downs all the time? We all love the same guy, so why can't we just get along? I can say in all honesty, I have no idea. I know everyone has their "Evil MIL stories" or their "Evil DIL stories", but you need to let that go and mend the fences. You're going to be around his mother as long as you're with him, so try and have a good relationship with her. If you love him, then you need to love his Mom. End of story.
Instead of having smack downs against each other, think of something fun that you two can do together that might let some frustrations out. Maybe a kick boxing class, Zumba or anything that gets you moving around. When you workout it releases endorphins and as everyone knows, "endorphins make you happy! Happy people just don't kill their husbands!" Thank you SO much for that wonderful insight Elle Woods. Instead, for this case we will substitute "husbands" for "Mother-in-Law" or "Daughter-in-Law".
"A family can develop only with a loving woman as its center" -- Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel
Be the loving center for your family. You won't regret it!

8. Spend time with your Family
After marriage, we tend to get distant with the people who raised us and brought us up in this world. For those of you who grew up with a really supportive family (like I did) don't let that slip away because you moved far away from them. You will need all the support that you can get and your family knows you better than anyone. Take the time to call them, text them and a Skype Video Chat will send them over the moon!
"Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten." -- David Ogden Stiers

9. Pamper yourself
It's okay to go to the salon to get your hair and nails done. Sometimes that's the thing that will get you out of your funk faster! I usually like to give myself a facial and take a nice, warm, bubble bath with candles--you know, the works!
"I think every girl needs to love herself, regardless of anything. Like if you're having a bad day, if you don't like your hair, if you don't have the best family situation, whatever, you have to love yourself and you can't do anything until you love yourself first." -- Julianne Hough

10. Remember you love him
You're gonna fight, that's normal in these types of relationships. Just remember why you stay. Remember what is at the finish line: him. Your man is worth everything in the world to you and he is worth the wait. The distance doesn't last forever, but your love for him will.
"I'll hold you in my heart, till I can hold you in my arms." -- Anonymous

I'm hoping that this will help some of my fellow MilSOs out there! These tips have definitely helped me when I've been sad and depressed.

Let me know what you think of this article by sending me an email! 

Introductions

Good morning world!

I'm Katie, a 22 year old from Texas. I have lived in Texas all my life, but I'm not your "stereotypical" Texan. No, we all don't ride horses to school or have a crazy accent. Actually, I don't even own a Cowboy hat or a pair of Cowboy boots! Even though I'm not what most people think of when they think of Texas, I do really love it here. I love the crazy, random weather changes, the sweet, hospitable people--everything!

My boyfriend, Ryan, didn't move to Texas until he was a Freshman in High school. The funny thing is, he doesn't classify himself as a Kansan. Down, deep in his heart he is a Texan and will always be a Texan. If his family hadn't moved here those 6 years ago we would have never met.

When Ryan and I met in February 2013; I had just left a relationship in November 2012 and was on the rebound. So, what does any girl do when she wants a quick flirt? She starts swooning over her server at a restaurant. I know what you're thinking: Katie is a creeper. But I promise you, I'm not! I just wanted someone to flirt with and Ryan was the perfect guy to do the job. It went from "just flirting" to "I bet my friend that I could get his number". Well, once I found out that he was going to be shipping for the Marine Corps in May that gave us a common interest (my brother has been in the Marines since 2009, so I have some history with the Corps). It didn't bother me that he was going to be joining because I wasn't expecting him to be permanent. Boy, was I wrong!

We spent 3 months together before he had to go to San Diego for his first installment of training: Boot Camp. That time was pretty dark for me since we hadn't been together very long. The insecurity was beginning to eat away at me and I felt more alone than I had ever felt in my whole life. I cried when I received every letter, bawled my eyes out when my mailbox was empty, but I didn't let that stop me from writing. Even though it had only been 3 months, I knew my heart was with him in San Diego.

Ten months later and he is stationed in Okinawa, Japan. My heart remains with him, just as it has since we met. I know that my support, faithfulness and strength don't go unnoticed. It is my goal to equipped women with the tools they need to be supportive, faithful and gain the strength they need to become the rock their Marines need in this lifestyle.

Stay strong and, as always, Semper Fi!

"For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love and self-sacrifice." -- John Burroughs