Obsessions

Good Morning Chikas!

Today I'm going to just discuss something silly with all my readers out there: your crazy obsessions!  The good thing about obsessions (or at least for me), they tend to zen and center you when you're feeling crazy about life in general.  So, take a look at my crazy:

The Bachelor and The Bachelorette:

I can never get enough drama which is why I love these shows, but I still love me some Reality Steve and can't get enough of his snide comments!  I love him just as much as the shows! 

  

Painting my nails:

I paint my nails between 3-5 times in a week because it's very relaxing to me.  After I've had a really hard day at work and I can't stand to look at any more school work--I paint my nails.  When life around me is crashing down, I know that when you put colored nail polish over a base coat and add the best Fast drying top coat ever, it won't be a disappointment.  (Disclaimer: I didn't paint these, but I loved the design!)

I would love to hear about your obsessions too! Send me an email of you doing one (such as painting your nails, cleaning, making care packages, etc.) and I'll post a picture! 

Best Friend Circle

Good Morning Chikas! 

Several years ago I took a speech class and my teacher so wisely said, "Every person has a circle of people that they let into their little world.  There are only 3 people that you can be genuinely close with at a time and that's okay!  Those people will change over time, so take a look at your life and write down who those current people are for you."

As I pressed my pencil to the blank page I realized how many people I am only acquaintances with.  I call these people my "friends", but our interactions are too formal for them to be considered close friends in my internal circle.  I eventually came up with my list and it wasn't a surprise at all.  The people I chose are people I'm closest with in my life--people I can tell my innermost thoughts to.

Today I decided to take on the challenge again and realized that some people have changed since I last made my list.  I challenge you all to make a list of your own.  I'm all about personal growth and realization--this activity will give you an idea of who your best friends are.  

Katie Walker aka Shanaynay aka Katie Dos:

Katie and I became friends in our Spanish class when we were Sophomores in high school (I didn't realize until later that she thought I was weird when we met as Freshmen).  I sat behind her in class and since we were both named Katie, the teacher got confused as to who was who.  We started off being "Katie 1" and "Katie 2", "Katie Front Desk" and "Katie Back Desk", but eventually we just decided to go with Shanaynay and Shaniqua (I'm Shaniqua!).  That year, Katie Dos was born.  We did just about everything together and we were in the same group of friends.

Now, almost 8 years later, we are still very close.  I had the honor of being in her wedding and getting to stand next to her on her special day.  She is married to a wonderful guy and they just bought a beautiful house!  I couldn't be more proud of her and her many accomplishments.  God has blessed her and I know He will continue to do so!  Love you, best friend!

Momma:

There are so many girls that aren't close with their Moms and I'm glad to say I'm not one of them.  My mom has been there for everything in my life and I know she will as long as she is able.  I don't have a story about how I met my Mom for obvious reasons, but I do know that her pregnancy was miserable and she almost died in childbirth.    

The death of my Grandmama has brought us closer together.  We have to be strong for each other and be a shoulder to cry on in weakness.  In my last blog post I discussed different ways people cope with a loss--my mom is in the "touchy" category.  So, I'm trying my best to make sure my mom gets what she needs to deal with this great loss we are all feeling.  I don't know if I'm helping her a lot, but I'm trying my best.

I love my Mom and I would do anything in the world for her.

Ryan:

Last but not least is the love of my life, Ryan.  We have been through so much while we have been together, but I wouldn't change that for anything.  Every trial that we have faced has made us better people and built our personal characters.  In the year and 9 months that we have been together I have learned so much about myself and how the world works.  Long distance relationships aren't a picnic; however, when you love the person and you want to be better for them--everything seems to fall into place. 

Even if I hate to admit it, he is the reason I figured out what I wanted to study at school, he is the reason I've matured quickly (even if he still acts like a 12 year old boy, but then again all men act like little boys) and he is the reason I started this blog.  Ryan makes me want to be a better person and he wants to be better for me.  Personal betterment along with friendship are both very important in any relationship. 

Who are the three people in your innermost circle? Comment or send me an email! 

Different Coping Mechanisms

With the recent death of my Grandmother I have been at a loss for words.  She was the most wonderful person you could have ever met and and impacted so many lives.  My Grandmama always knew the right thing to say about any given situation.  Her wisdom, council and love will live on in the rest of my family.  She has taught all of us so many things and she will always have a special place in my heart. 

Even though my heart feels broken, I have to go back to being normal.  So, since I'm trying to be normal I will do my best to write a meaningful post this morning.  Excuse me in advance if it isn't up to my normal standards, but I actually learned a lot about myself and my family during the time they spent here.

Different people grieve in different ways.  It's just the same as the different love languages.  You need to understand how people cope in order for them to grieve properly.  When your partner loses a loved one, they are going to be heartbroken and feel empty inside--it's your job as their spouse or Significant Other to understand how to help them cope with their loss.

Loner:
These people are like me.  When something bad happens, they would much rather be alone than in a group full of people.  If they know how their family/spouse copes, they will help them, but for their own sanity they need their personal space.  These people would rather cry alone and stay strong for the rest of the grieving party.  They put on a brave face for the world, but show their emotion in private or with people they are very close to.

Touchy:
This is how the majority of my family handles stress or grief.  These people like to hug out their emotions with other people.  They need to know that you're there for them, so hold their hand and hug them tight.  That's what they need to get out their emotions.  

Optimistic:
These people are usually the ones who will openly talk about the person you've recently lost.  They like to focus on the person and remember the good times with them.  For most people coping with a loss, these people are hard for them to be around.  There is usually a point where the grieving will be able to reminisce, but it usually takes some time before they want to talk openly about their loved one. 

Caregiver:
These people want to make sure they are doing everything that is needed so the rest of the family can grieve.  I find this quality very rare when people are coping, but it's there.  With this quality, there tends to be less opportunity to cry and mourn your loved one.  As the loved one of this type of mourner, just make sure they get their chance to properly grieve the loss.  Most times they are too focused on other people to even realize they haven't said their proper "goodbyes".

"You will lose someone you can't live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved.  But this is also the good news.  They live forever in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up.  And you come through.  It's like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly--that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp." --Anne Lamott