How he feels

Since my last post was focusing on my side of "see ya later"s I thought it would be nice to hear how Ryan felt about saying our farewells when he left for Japan. It's interesting to see how our Marines handle leaving us because I've never heard his true feelings about it before. I also thought that there are some girls who doubt whether your man misses you or not (let's face it--men are super unemotional.), but this shows that he does. I'm sure all of your men are thinking just what Ryan was when he had to say "see ya later" to me.

"Saying goodbye to Kat has always been hard but leaving for [Japan] was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Thinking back now, all I remember is that despite how I knew she would always be there for me, I felt like my heart was being ripped out. Often times, that horrible memory of walking through line and onto the airplane ramp comes back to me. I try to block it out but I can't ever fully escape that pain. I can still recall how it felt to let her go from that tight hug, see her cry as I walked away and when I tried to look back and couldn't see her anymore. It felt like my life was over. I texted her as much as I could before the flight attendant called for all cell phones off but it wasn't enough. No words could really help me deal with that sense of loss. All I could do was push on and hope for that one day when it would all be over. The day I could finally hold her again and relax knowing everything was going to be alright. I'm still waiting for that day. Now all I can ever think about is when I'll be able to Skype with her next and when I'll be able to go home next. I can't wait. Being stuck [here] is killing me. I miss her so much. I know that when I get home she will be waiting for me. That next hug will be way [better] than the last one. Everything will be alright."

It's eye opening to see that he feels emotions just as strongly as I do. We will make it through

Saying "See ya Later"

Throughout Ryan's time in the Marine Corps I've had to say "see ya later" to him more than I ever thought I would. Yes I knew that he would be away a lot, but saying goodbye to the love of your life constantly isn't really something that you can prepare for. Being a Marine Girlfriend requires a lot of on the job training. So, today I was going to share some instances when I had to say "see ya later" to Ryan.

The first time that we parted ways we had only been dating for 3 months and he was heading off to begin his journey with the Marine Corps by going to boot camp. He swore in the day after Mother's Day, but I couldn't attend the ceremony because I was starting my first day at work. I wanted to be there more than anything, but it just didn't work out that way. I said my "see ya later"s to him on Mother's day since I couldn't make it to his swearing in. When I said my last goodbye I thought nothing could ever compare to the pain I felt that day. I couldn't see in the future though--and there was even more heartache awaiting me there.

Our first reunion was at family day when we were in San Diego to celebrate his boot camp graduation. I caught my first glimpse of him during the Moto Run and I picked him out right away. I could feel my heart fluttering while my eyes began to well up with tears. After that moment, nothing else mattered that day. We had Family Briefings that meant nothing to me. The only thing I could think about was that first hug from Ryan. When I finally got my hug I never wanted it to end. Just like after he came home I never wanted him to leave. But he did leave--10 days later. So I said goodbye to him once again.

This time I actually had the blessing of taking him to the airport since his flight was leaving so early in the morning and the airport is very close to where I work. The only upside this time was that Ryan would take his phone with him. I heard from him a lot less than I was promised, but I made it through.

My next "hello" was 4 months later over Christmas and it was just as wonderful as when he came home last time. I literally fall in love with him all over again every time I see him. That's the great thing about this lifestyle! Even though I say "see ya later" frequently, I get to say "hello" and really appreciate Ryan's presence.

I will only talk about one more "see ya later" because this is the biggest one I've said to date. As many of you know, Ryan came home for 13 days when he got orders to go to Japan and that was great! But saying goodbye is always hard. I took him to the airport and got a special pass to get in the terminal with him (as long as your Marine has his orders and you have your ID, you can go through security to get in the terminal for when he leaves). We were planning on getting breakfast, but I felt so sick to my stomach just thinking of him leaving. So, we just sat by his gate and didn't say too much until they started boarding his plane. One last hug and kiss (since people aren't allowed in the terminal anymore unless they have a flight, it looks so strange to people when they see a couple saying goodbye and crying...) and he boarded the plane. That was it.

I'm sure there are many "see ya later"s in my future with Ryan, but saying goodbye for him to go to Japan has been the hardest to date. Since that goodbye was so hard I know that our next "hello" will be even more wonderful than all the others. I still don't know when I will see him again, but that is part of dating a Marine. I love him more than anything and it's worth it.

I'm sorry that I got so personal today! There are just some days I need to remember why I do, what I do. Remembering the hard times I've had with Ryan and how we overcame them (and continue to over come them) makes me even more proud to call him mine!

The Uniform

I have a really bad case of the Mondays today, so I apologize in advance. But, today I'm going to discuss something that has been on my mind a lot lately: The Uniform. 

When we date or marry someone in the Military that comes with several responsibilities. We chose him not his occupation, but in order to be with him you must accept several challenges that the Military will, inevitably throw your way. To compensate for this new lifestyle, a lot of girls go "moto". The Urban Dictionary definition of moto is shown below:

Being moto isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you can't forget who he was before the Marine Corps. For most of us, we fell in love with our guy before he joined the Military and it's been an adjustment. The days when he can't talk, writing letters instead of texting, sleepless nights because you haven't heard from him for a week, 3 weeks, a month, several months--we have all been there. Sometimes we forget that we didn't get this strong overnight, just like the Military doesn't make Marines, Sailors, Airmen or Soldiers overnight. They go through training to get where they are now, but that training shouldn't make you look at your boyfriend or husband differently. Yes, he is in the Military and that is something that should make you proud! Just don't forget those years or months that you spent with him before he earned his title. He looks at you as so much more than a "Marine girlfriend", "Army Wife", "Air force Wife", etc. So, why do we women only call our men "My Marine", "My Coastie", etc.? Calling them that is just fine, but don't make that the only way you identify your boyfriend/husband. He is so much more than that. Always remember:

  

Like I said before, there isn't anything wrong with calling him by his title. Just don't forget where he came from.