There is a phrase that every family, friend and S/O should know, expect the worse, but hope for the best. While Ryan was at MOS school I had to repeat that phrase over and over again to myself. I knew after his 13 weeks of training he would be moving on to his Duty Station, but both of us were completely in the dark as to where that would be. Every class since July (2013) had gone overseas, so we thought that maybe, just maybe, Ryan's class would break the cycle in 2014. There was talk of marriage for fear he would be stationed in Japan, but we decided that the timing wasn't right.
On a side note, I say something specific to girls who want to rush into marriage because they are afraid their boyfriend/fiance will be stationed overseas: "Don't get married because the Marine Corps tells you to. Get married when you are ready. If you rush into things because you're afraid, that's not the right reason and you're giving the Marine Corps more power than it deserves." However, every relationship is different and will progress at different rates. If it's the right timing and choice for you to get married, go for it! I know several gals who were/got married before their man joined the Marines, after they finished boot, during MOS school--you name it! I completely supported them 100%! Just remember the key word is fear.
After Ryan and I ruled out marriage, the only thing to do was wait. Those 13 weeks of waiting felt like forever, but 11 weeks in we got news of where Ryan would be stationed. He called me on FaceTime to give me the news (while Ryan was in MOS school we hardly ever got a chance to FaceTime because of his data plan). When we got on FaceTime he just stared and me and said, "You know what it is. I'm going to Japan." I thought that he was joking at first and I kept egging him on to tell me the truth. But I realized that this was going to be my life now--Japan. The love of my life was destined to move thousands of miles away from me and I was helpless to do anything about it. I kept my composure in front of him though. I wasn't going to make him feel guilty by showing him how upset I was. After all, there wasn't anything he could do about it either and he needed supportive Katie, not depressed Katie. The upside to all of this was he came home for 2 weeks!
Time marched on and I had to say goodbye after his 2 weeks of leave. It was heart breaking, but sometimes you have to put duty before love. He is worth it though. Ryan is worth the heart break of every goodbye, the torture of this distance between us and the fear of the unknown. One day I will come first in his life. That time might not be now, it might not even be soon, but it's coming. That's what I'm looking forward to.
He has only been in Japan for two months, but it feels like a life time. I don't have a countdown on my phone because I don't know when I will see him next. I only get to talk to him on weekends, but that's okay because I've learned to take what I can get. This whole situation is making me a better person even if I hate to admit it. It's teaching me to be understanding, patient and it's teaching both of us how to better communicate. Because of this I know that I can handle anything that the Marine Corps throws at Ryan.
Hopefully if your Marine ends up going over seas, you will be able to make lemonade out of lemons. Yeah, it's hard, but it makes you a strong, independent woman. That is something I can guarantee!
"Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans flames."
And before I forget: Take the love language quiz here
Awww. I loved all of this!
ReplyDelete