If you are already married to your Marine, this post will not apply to you. This is for the girls who have a man in boot camp/girls who are getting married to their Marine out of fear so they can be with him:
In today's society we are all about the instant gratification. We want what we want and we want it now! Texting, Social media and alike has turned us all into Veruca Salts. I don't know about you, but she was never my favorite character on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. This causes a problem because we can't function when we have to wait for something. Sometimes we have to remember the longer you wait for something or earn something--the sweeter it is. When I was a teenager, my parents wouldn't buy a car for me because they told me I needed to earn it myself. I didn't really understand the concept until I was older, but I understand the appreciation you get when you wait until you earn what you want. So today, I'm going to talk about earning a title that we all want: Fiancé.
No, I'm not a Fiancé, but of course I want to be! What girl hasn't imagined her wedding day: All the beautiful flowers, a string quartet playing as you walk down the aisle with your father, the look on your man's face--every girl has her picture perfect wedding day. When you get engaged, that means the last piece of the puzzle is in place.
Because of the "I want it NOW" stage that is society, I see couples getting engaged and married before they are ready. Now that I've been involved with the Military lifestyle once again, I'm starting to see it more and more. Here is the typical picture: A girl's boyfriend graduates from boot camp, he proposes, they get married during his 10 day leave. I would say that happens to about 15-25% (maybe more) of the girls that see their man graduate boot camp. If you're ready to take that next step in your relationship, go for it! But in my experience this probably isn't the wisest choice for you or your new Marine.
What most girls fail to realize is that getting married to a man in the Military will be a lifestyle change for both of you. After boot camp a lot of girls feel pressured into getting married because that's the "typical" and romantic thing to do in these types of relationships. Yes, it happens a lot, but getting married is life changing for both parties. Think about it: he just finished his first portion of training, he's been brainwashed for 13 weeks and has been made into a killing machine. He has already gone through 13 weeks of "your life isn't your own, it's the Marine Corps'" and now you're asking him to make another life changing decision right after he has already started the biggest transition of his life. In my mind, that isn't fair to you or to him.
What I'm trying to get at is: if you love each other, no amount of distance or time should change that. Why not put your relationship to the test and try out this lifestyle before making the biggest commitment of your life? You aren't just marrying him, you're marrying his lifestyle and you need to be okay with that. Just because you're with him, doesn't mean it will be better. For example, Ryan and I had talked about getting married while he was in MOS school so he wouldn't be sent to Japan. Once we decided that was the wrong decision for us, they gave us the news that his Duty Station would be overseas in Oki. I can't even tell you how heartbroken I was and I was kicking myself thinking, We should have gotten married. How are we going to make it through this unscathed? Looking back, I'm so glad that we didn't get married because when he arrived at his Duty Station they offered him his dream job. If we had gotten married he wouldn't have had that opportunity. In my experience, most single enlisted guys get more opportunities than the married enlisted guys. I would never want to stand in the way of any opportunity Ryan has ahead of him. Whether or not our relationship is strong enough to make it through Japan is yet to be seen, but by the end of his time there we will know.
All of your Marines had to earn the title, "Marine", so why do some of us feel that the title "Wife" or "Fiancé" is something we deserve after only 13 weeks? There are many other tough times ahead for the two of you, so show your man that you're faithful, loving, caring, understanding and that you can handle this lifestyle. If you can't handle it as a girlfriend, what makes you think you can handle it as a wife?
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