After about a 5 month hiatus, I've decided to start blogging again! *Insert clapping and cheering here* I had stopped blogging because of things that were going on in my personal life and I'm happy to say that I'm back again to stay!
During my time away I have learned a lot about myself, my relationship and I've become even more independent than I was before I started blogging. I've returned to school and I'm about half way through my first semester as a Biblical Counseling major. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be, but I'm glad that I decided to go back to school for myself.
To get myself back in the saddle again, I've decided to write a post about fighting in a long distance relationship (these things can be applied to every relationship as well). I don't know about any of my readers out there, but I am fluent in the art of fighting with my man (as he is with me also). We know what buttons to push to make sure we get a rile out of the other one, but that isn't very healthy for the relationship. So, during my little break from blogging, I've come up with tips on how to make your fights with your man productive as opposed to hurtful.
1. There should always a reason for the fights
Sometimes it may just seem like yelling or hurtful words, but you have to remember there is always a reason a fight begins. Whether it's because he had a bad day at work, he doesn't feel like he has anything to do, or maybe it's because of lack of food and/or sleep (this last one is very common with Ryan). As his girl, we need to remember to be sensitive to these emotions he is having. The reason he lashes out at you is because you're closest to him and he thinks that you won't be going anywhere.
However, if either of you are just fighting for the sake of fighting, then stop. If you have to stop talking because of it, so be it. Don't waste the little time you have to talk to him being in a bad mood. That will put a dark cloud over your relationship that's hard to overcome later.
2. Don't shout, communicate
During fights, both parties seem to think that their opinion and their words are the most important. Because of this, there tends to be a lot of shouting over each other and not very much communication. When he is talking, let him get his thought out before you start speaking. This isn't hard to accomplish if you're actually listening to what he is saying rather than thinking of what you're going to say in response.
3. Don't linger on the past
As women, we have the memory of an elephant. We can remember the stupid thing he did on July 21, 2009 and remember exactly why he was so stupid. If it's in the past, leave it there! When you're long distance the last thing either of you needs is to start fighting about something that happened several months, or years ago.
4. Make an effort
If your relationship is like mine, you're stubborn and so is your guy. At times, both of us swallow our pride and admit defeat. There is no way that you are right 100% of the time, so you need to talk it out with your man and try to find a middle ground. It's very difficult when you think you're the right one, but would you rather waste your time on fighting constantly, or enjoy the little time you have with him?
I have an issue with all 4 things on this list and they are things I'm working on to make myself a better person. I'm probably not the only person who has an issue when it comes to these things, so I thought I would put them out there in the open. None of us are perfect and we can all improve upon ourselves. Hopefully this article is eye-opening for those of you who have similar problems like me and aren't sure how to fix them.
Until next time, chickas!
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
iPhone apps
Today I've decided to share with y'all a few apps that have been very beneficial to me since Ryan has been in the Marine Corps. You should download one or all of these apps and they will make your life a lot easier!
I'm going to skip over my weather app and go to my Countdown+ app. This is only available for iPhone and it's fantastic! You can have several countdowns going on at once, it's really user-friendly and you can customize it to look however you want!
Next is my Been together app. This app tracks how long you have been with your S/O in terms of days. I changed it to track the number of days Ryan and I have been apart.
After FaceTime (that's a video chat exclusively for iPhones) there is my kik app. This is a texting app that Ryan and I sometimes use. Since you use it through WiFi we have no issue texting with it since he is in Japan.
My all time favorite is next: Voxer. This app pretty much turns your phone into a walkie talkie. I LOVE this app and would highly recommend it to anyone!
The Couple app is something the two of you can use to keep in touch. You can text, thumb kiss and so much more. I'm not a big fan of this app, but I know several MilSOs who swear by it!
My Facebook messenger app is what Ryan and I use to text the majority of the time. You can also send pictures and voice messages through it.
Have a happy hump day!!!
Monday, April 28, 2014
Out of my comfort zone
Hello, readers! I had a great weekend with my church's college and career class at some caverns several hours away from home. Here's a picture of us before we went into the caves:
Yes, it was a fun time, but now I'm back to the grind! I have work, go running, pick a director's daughter up from school, mail my second package to Japan and continue planning my parent's 25th wedding anniversary party. Needless to say, I'm super busy!
Going back to the list of things I need to do today, running is second. Recently I have decided to "practice what I preach" and do something for myself (Like I stated earlier this month in my "Waiting for Him" post). No, I'm not very good at running, but it's making me feel better about myself. It's helping me feel productive and like I'm accomplishing something.
So, I challenge you all: do something that's out of your comfort zone that will help you feel better about yourself. For me, it's running. But for some of you it could be as simple as wearing a dress to work or school because you're not a "girly girl". The better you feel about yourself, the more confident you will come across to the world. Just like Candace Cameron said on Dancing with the Stars last week, "Confidence is sexy". Confidence is sexy and just because your man is gone doesn't mean you need to stop feeling sexy.
Good luck this week!
Yes, it was a fun time, but now I'm back to the grind! I have work, go running, pick a director's daughter up from school, mail my second package to Japan and continue planning my parent's 25th wedding anniversary party. Needless to say, I'm super busy!
Going back to the list of things I need to do today, running is second. Recently I have decided to "practice what I preach" and do something for myself (Like I stated earlier this month in my "Waiting for Him" post). No, I'm not very good at running, but it's making me feel better about myself. It's helping me feel productive and like I'm accomplishing something.
So, I challenge you all: do something that's out of your comfort zone that will help you feel better about yourself. For me, it's running. But for some of you it could be as simple as wearing a dress to work or school because you're not a "girly girl". The better you feel about yourself, the more confident you will come across to the world. Just like Candace Cameron said on Dancing with the Stars last week, "Confidence is sexy". Confidence is sexy and just because your man is gone doesn't mean you need to stop feeling sexy.
Good luck this week!
Friday, April 25, 2014
How he feels
Since my last post was focusing on my side of "see ya later"s I thought it would be nice to hear how Ryan felt about saying our farewells when he left for Japan. It's interesting to see how our Marines handle leaving us because I've never heard his true feelings about it before. I also thought that there are some girls who doubt whether your man misses you or not (let's face it--men are super unemotional.), but this shows that he does. I'm sure all of your men are thinking just what Ryan was when he had to say "see ya later" to me.
"Saying goodbye to Kat has always been hard but leaving for [Japan] was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Thinking back now, all I remember is that despite how I knew she would always be there for me, I felt like my heart was being ripped out. Often times, that horrible memory of walking through line and onto the airplane ramp comes back to me. I try to block it out but I can't ever fully escape that pain. I can still recall how it felt to let her go from that tight hug, see her cry as I walked away and when I tried to look back and couldn't see her anymore. It felt like my life was over. I texted her as much as I could before the flight attendant called for all cell phones off but it wasn't enough. No words could really help me deal with that sense of loss. All I could do was push on and hope for that one day when it would all be over. The day I could finally hold her again and relax knowing everything was going to be alright. I'm still waiting for that day. Now all I can ever think about is when I'll be able to Skype with her next and when I'll be able to go home next. I can't wait. Being stuck [here] is killing me. I miss her so much. I know that when I get home she will be waiting for me. That next hug will be way [better] than the last one. Everything will be alright."
It's eye opening to see that he feels emotions just as strongly as I do. We will make it through
"Saying goodbye to Kat has always been hard but leaving for [Japan] was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Thinking back now, all I remember is that despite how I knew she would always be there for me, I felt like my heart was being ripped out. Often times, that horrible memory of walking through line and onto the airplane ramp comes back to me. I try to block it out but I can't ever fully escape that pain. I can still recall how it felt to let her go from that tight hug, see her cry as I walked away and when I tried to look back and couldn't see her anymore. It felt like my life was over. I texted her as much as I could before the flight attendant called for all cell phones off but it wasn't enough. No words could really help me deal with that sense of loss. All I could do was push on and hope for that one day when it would all be over. The day I could finally hold her again and relax knowing everything was going to be alright. I'm still waiting for that day. Now all I can ever think about is when I'll be able to Skype with her next and when I'll be able to go home next. I can't wait. Being stuck [here] is killing me. I miss her so much. I know that when I get home she will be waiting for me. That next hug will be way [better] than the last one. Everything will be alright."
It's eye opening to see that he feels emotions just as strongly as I do. We will make it through
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Saying "See ya Later"
Throughout Ryan's time in the Marine Corps I've had to say "see ya later" to him more than I ever thought I would. Yes I knew that he would be away a lot, but saying goodbye to the love of your life constantly isn't really something that you can prepare for. Being a Marine Girlfriend requires a lot of on the job training. So, today I was going to share some instances when I had to say "see ya later" to Ryan.
The first time that we parted ways we had only been dating for 3 months and he was heading off to begin his journey with the Marine Corps by going to boot camp. He swore in the day after Mother's Day, but I couldn't attend the ceremony because I was starting my first day at work. I wanted to be there more than anything, but it just didn't work out that way. I said my "see ya later"s to him on Mother's day since I couldn't make it to his swearing in. When I said my last goodbye I thought nothing could ever compare to the pain I felt that day. I couldn't see in the future though--and there was even more heartache awaiting me there.
Our first reunion was at family day when we were in San Diego to celebrate his boot camp graduation. I caught my first glimpse of him during the Moto Run and I picked him out right away. I could feel my heart fluttering while my eyes began to well up with tears. After that moment, nothing else mattered that day. We had Family Briefings that meant nothing to me. The only thing I could think about was that first hug from Ryan. When I finally got my hug I never wanted it to end. Just like after he came home I never wanted him to leave. But he did leave--10 days later. So I said goodbye to him once again.
This time I actually had the blessing of taking him to the airport since his flight was leaving so early in the morning and the airport is very close to where I work. The only upside this time was that Ryan would take his phone with him. I heard from him a lot less than I was promised, but I made it through.
My next "hello" was 4 months later over Christmas and it was just as wonderful as when he came home last time. I literally fall in love with him all over again every time I see him. That's the great thing about this lifestyle! Even though I say "see ya later" frequently, I get to say "hello" and really appreciate Ryan's presence.
I will only talk about one more "see ya later" because this is the biggest one I've said to date. As many of you know, Ryan came home for 13 days when he got orders to go to Japan and that was great! But saying goodbye is always hard. I took him to the airport and got a special pass to get in the terminal with him (as long as your Marine has his orders and you have your ID, you can go through security to get in the terminal for when he leaves). We were planning on getting breakfast, but I felt so sick to my stomach just thinking of him leaving. So, we just sat by his gate and didn't say too much until they started boarding his plane. One last hug and kiss (since people aren't allowed in the terminal anymore unless they have a flight, it looks so strange to people when they see a couple saying goodbye and crying...) and he boarded the plane. That was it.
I'm sure there are many "see ya later"s in my future with Ryan, but saying goodbye for him to go to Japan has been the hardest to date. Since that goodbye was so hard I know that our next "hello" will be even more wonderful than all the others. I still don't know when I will see him again, but that is part of dating a Marine. I love him more than anything and it's worth it.
I'm sorry that I got so personal today! There are just some days I need to remember why I do, what I do. Remembering the hard times I've had with Ryan and how we overcame them (and continue to over come them) makes me even more proud to call him mine!
The first time that we parted ways we had only been dating for 3 months and he was heading off to begin his journey with the Marine Corps by going to boot camp. He swore in the day after Mother's Day, but I couldn't attend the ceremony because I was starting my first day at work. I wanted to be there more than anything, but it just didn't work out that way. I said my "see ya later"s to him on Mother's day since I couldn't make it to his swearing in. When I said my last goodbye I thought nothing could ever compare to the pain I felt that day. I couldn't see in the future though--and there was even more heartache awaiting me there.
Our first reunion was at family day when we were in San Diego to celebrate his boot camp graduation. I caught my first glimpse of him during the Moto Run and I picked him out right away. I could feel my heart fluttering while my eyes began to well up with tears. After that moment, nothing else mattered that day. We had Family Briefings that meant nothing to me. The only thing I could think about was that first hug from Ryan. When I finally got my hug I never wanted it to end. Just like after he came home I never wanted him to leave. But he did leave--10 days later. So I said goodbye to him once again.
This time I actually had the blessing of taking him to the airport since his flight was leaving so early in the morning and the airport is very close to where I work. The only upside this time was that Ryan would take his phone with him. I heard from him a lot less than I was promised, but I made it through.
My next "hello" was 4 months later over Christmas and it was just as wonderful as when he came home last time. I literally fall in love with him all over again every time I see him. That's the great thing about this lifestyle! Even though I say "see ya later" frequently, I get to say "hello" and really appreciate Ryan's presence.
I will only talk about one more "see ya later" because this is the biggest one I've said to date. As many of you know, Ryan came home for 13 days when he got orders to go to Japan and that was great! But saying goodbye is always hard. I took him to the airport and got a special pass to get in the terminal with him (as long as your Marine has his orders and you have your ID, you can go through security to get in the terminal for when he leaves). We were planning on getting breakfast, but I felt so sick to my stomach just thinking of him leaving. So, we just sat by his gate and didn't say too much until they started boarding his plane. One last hug and kiss (since people aren't allowed in the terminal anymore unless they have a flight, it looks so strange to people when they see a couple saying goodbye and crying...) and he boarded the plane. That was it.
I'm sure there are many "see ya later"s in my future with Ryan, but saying goodbye for him to go to Japan has been the hardest to date. Since that goodbye was so hard I know that our next "hello" will be even more wonderful than all the others. I still don't know when I will see him again, but that is part of dating a Marine. I love him more than anything and it's worth it.
I'm sorry that I got so personal today! There are just some days I need to remember why I do, what I do. Remembering the hard times I've had with Ryan and how we overcame them (and continue to over come them) makes me even more proud to call him mine!
Monday, April 21, 2014
The Uniform
I have a really bad case of the Mondays today, so I apologize in advance. But, today I'm going to discuss something that has been on my mind a lot lately: The Uniform.
When we date or marry someone in the Military that comes with several responsibilities. We chose him not his occupation, but in order to be with him you must accept several challenges that the Military will, inevitably throw your way. To compensate for this new lifestyle, a lot of girls go "moto". The Urban Dictionary definition of moto is shown below:
Being moto isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you can't forget who he was before the Marine Corps. For most of us, we fell in love with our guy before he joined the Military and it's been an adjustment. The days when he can't talk, writing letters instead of texting, sleepless nights because you haven't heard from him for a week, 3 weeks, a month, several months--we have all been there. Sometimes we forget that we didn't get this strong overnight, just like the Military doesn't make Marines, Sailors, Airmen or Soldiers overnight. They go through training to get where they are now, but that training shouldn't make you look at your boyfriend or husband differently. Yes, he is in the Military and that is something that should make you proud! Just don't forget those years or months that you spent with him before he earned his title. He looks at you as so much more than a "Marine girlfriend", "Army Wife", "Air force Wife", etc. So, why do we women only call our men "My Marine", "My Coastie", etc.? Calling them that is just fine, but don't make that the only way you identify your boyfriend/husband. He is so much more than that. Always remember:
Like I said before, there isn't anything wrong with calling him by his title. Just don't forget where he came from.
Friday, April 18, 2014
A great online shop that you'll love!
I'm sure that we have all had that experience when you order something online and you:
a.) Don't ever receive said item.
b.) The item isn't worth what you paid
or
c.) You contact the maker of the product and you never hear from him/her.
I know that's happened to me on more than one occasion. It's very frustrating spending your money for a custom order and the person making it doesn't seem to care about any form of customer service.
If you want to have a great customer service experience, then you need to shop at Civvies and Skivvies's Online Store. You can make just about anything custom--not to mention, the owner and creator of the company is just a doll! I emailed her about making me a custom shirt (I won't say for what because Ryan is one of my readers!) and she got back to me in less than 12 hours later. Not only was her promptness highly impressive, but the owner also seemed genuinely interested in why I was purchasing this item. She encouraged me not to be worried if I couldn't order right away due to my crazy circumstances; that doesn't happen a lot when people own their own business.
The owner of this company seems to be caring, sweet, honest and have a very high moral and business standard. I will continue to shop at this site and I will recommend it to any MilSO or MoM that needs a custom shirt for any occasion!
a.) Don't ever receive said item.
b.) The item isn't worth what you paid
or
c.) You contact the maker of the product and you never hear from him/her.
I know that's happened to me on more than one occasion. It's very frustrating spending your money for a custom order and the person making it doesn't seem to care about any form of customer service.
If you want to have a great customer service experience, then you need to shop at Civvies and Skivvies's Online Store. You can make just about anything custom--not to mention, the owner and creator of the company is just a doll! I emailed her about making me a custom shirt (I won't say for what because Ryan is one of my readers!) and she got back to me in less than 12 hours later. Not only was her promptness highly impressive, but the owner also seemed genuinely interested in why I was purchasing this item. She encouraged me not to be worried if I couldn't order right away due to my crazy circumstances; that doesn't happen a lot when people own their own business.
The owner of this company seems to be caring, sweet, honest and have a very high moral and business standard. I will continue to shop at this site and I will recommend it to any MilSO or MoM that needs a custom shirt for any occasion!
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